Editing is Fun. Honestly!

The way Jan & I work requires a lot of editing, as I edit what she writes and she edits what I've just edited—especially my re-writes—and then we both edit the result. There is a lot of drudgery involved in editing as there is in most tasks, but there are also moments of unexpected humor....

It is interesting what difference a single word/letter can make. Take this example from The Key of Tanguroth, a yet-to-be-published novel in the Lindensaga™.  The phrase was to have been "...a large rose bush..." but the word "a" was accidentally dropped. This struck me as quite funny, and I ran with it, producing the following "out-take":

     “Hey, I thought you weren’t going to come to this little party!”
     Bip nearly jumped out of his skin and whirled to find Brandy standing beside him in the shadows next to Large Rose Bush. She was a good foot taller than her cousin, who was thus called Small Rose Bush to avoid confusing the one with the other, but both were quite comely lasses and willing.

Sometimes, a certain turn of phrase triggers deep memories and when one is writing fast, concentrating on getting a scene down, one writes not what one intended, but the triggered memory. That’s why we edit each other’s work. Again, taking from The Key of Tanguroth, here we have the Dwarf, Tarin, saying “I’m still here on a diplomatic mission for me king....”  A simple enough sentence that, but it triggered an ancient memory and what I found that Jan had actually written was, “I’m still here on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan....” You can imagine what that did to my warped brain....

     “Alderaan? I thought you were here representin’ your king. You know, the king of Sythra?” Bip said in confusion.
   “Harrumph! O’ course, o’ course. I meant to say that. I’m a dwarf from Sythra. Yes, that’s right.”
    “Tarin, you’re scarin’ me.”
    “Sorry, lad, sorry. I, umm, well, I just get a little confused meself. Ferget what movie I’m in and all. Y’know. The usual thing. Me agent keeps me too busy. And these shootin’ schedules are enough to drive a man, er, ah, dwarf, yes, dwarf, crazy.”
    “Tarin, I think you’ve lost your mind.”
   “Could be I have, lad. Could be. We done shootin’ this scene yet?”

This next one, also from Key, just came about as a natural result of using a comment very, very close to a famous quote from an equally famous movie about a little girl and her dog. It wasn’t until I actually wrote that sentence down that I realized how close to the original it was. I liked the idea, and consider it one of our “Easter Eggs,” i. e. references to or paraphrases of some of our favorite punch lines, movie quotes, etc. But at the same time, my mind was off and running in a very weird direction with the following results, but for some odd reason, Jan made me take it out.

    At last the spiralhorn finished drinking and raised its head, its attention drawn away from them and into the dark heart of the trees. It stood thus for a moment, its ears swiveling as though it listened to some call they could not hear, then it turned and faded soundlessly back into the shadows. 

     When it was well and truly gone, Bip remembered that he had totally forgotten to breathe and gasped convulsively. There was wonder in the eyes he turned on Brandy. The nobleman shook his head, for once speechless.
    “Brandy, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore,” Bip said in sudden realization that they had left their mundane lives behind and were now...somewhere else.
     “Nope, definitely not Kansas, Bip. Nor the Vale. By the way, Bip, just where is Kansas?? I’m not familiar with that place.”
    “And you the great scholar, Brandy. I thought everybody knew where Kansas was.”
     “OK, cousin mine, where is it?”
     “Why, you head for the second star to the right and then straight on ’til morning,” Bip grinned in triumph.
      “No, that’s the way to Neverland. Try again.”
      “Ummmm, beyond the beyond?”
     “Nope. Quote from Barani, that little genie that travels around in Sinbad’s lamp.”
      “Ah, yes. Wellll, umm, uh, two kingdoms south of Florin?”
    “Nice try, Bip, but no cigar. You haven’t a clue, do you?” Brandy said, grinning from ear to ear. “Trying to put on over on me, right?”
    “No, no. Kansas is a real place.  Really.”
    “And?”
    “It’s, umm, north of Gond...”
    “STOP! Don’t say it! You want us to get nailed with a copyright infringement suit?” Brandy’s look of utter horror made Bip realize just how close to disaster he’d taken them.
    “Sorry.  OK, OK! So I don’t know where Kansas is. You happy now?”
     “Yup.  I just wanted to hear you admit it, that’s all.”
     They stood there in silence, enjoying the beauty of the forest and mountains around them. After a few minutes, Bip cleared his throat.
      “What?” Brandy asked.
      “Nothing.”
     “Don’t ‘nothing’ me! I know that sound. Go on, say it. Better out than in, I always say.”
       “You always say?” Bip said with some derision.
       “Well?”
       “OK, Mr. Flunking Scholar. Do you know where Kansas is?”
      “Well, I lied a bit earlier. I have heard of the place and as it happens, I do know where it is.”
        “Good! Where is it?”
        “Just south of Nebraska.”
       “Ahh! Well, that settles it then, doesn’t it? Great! Now we know where Kansas is.”
     “Yes, we do. Now, can we get moving?” Brandy said, and matched his movements to his words by stepping out into the stream.
        “Sure, Brandy, let’s go!” Bip followed right behind his cousin. They hadn’t gone far when Bip stopped suddenly, a look of consternation on his face.
       “What?” Brandy said in irritation when he realized that Bip had stopped.
         “Where’s Nebraska??”

I love to edit. I never know when some error or turn of phrase will strike my funny bone and send me off on an enjoyable tangent, even if Jan won't let me keep them in the book.